The Golden Rule: Simple Advice for Working with Home Builders (From an Experienced Realtor)

As a Realtor in Middle Tennessee, I’ve spent over nine years working closely with new construction builders—both on the sales side and for my own buyer clients. After all those experiences, I’ve learned one absolutely critical truth: the relationship you build with your builder is the key to a smooth, successful, and stress-free process.

The advice I’m sharing today isn’t about specific fixtures or contract language; it’s about the fundamental respect and communication that makes everyone’s life easier.

Build a Respectful Relationship from Day One

My number one piece of advice—and probably the most important—is to treat your builder with respect.

A respectful relationship makes the entire new construction process smoother and often yields advantages you wouldn’t expect. I’ve seen builders go the extra mile for clients who are respectful and genuinely nice people. Conversely, when clients are constantly angry, emailing late at night, and just plain hard to deal with, builders tend not to give an inch.

Building a good relationship doesn’t mean the builder is always right, or that you can’t address issues. It means when problems do arise, you have a foundation of trust that allows you to work together toward a better resolution for everybody.

Respect Their Time (Especially After Hours)

In the realm of respect, one of the biggest things you can give a builder is your consideration for their time.

Builders work long, hard days often starting very early and then finishing late. When they go home, they have families. It is critical to respect that off-time.

My best advice for communicating:

• Avoid bothering them late at night. Don’t text or call at 6, 7, or 8 PM when they are having dinner or spending time with their kids.
• Send emails during business hours. If you have to write an email late at night, schedule it to pop up first thing the next morning. It’s more likely to be seen and acted upon then, anyway!

More content after the video!

Avoid Costly Delays: Be Quick with Your Selections

 If you are building a custom home, the biggest single cause of delay is often buyer selections.

You must get your selections in quickly and on time. For foundational items like brick, windows, or certain specialized materials, the builder needs to order those very early in the process. You don’t want a framed-up house sitting idle for a month waiting for windows to arrive!

Quick decision-making helps the builder coordinate the trades, avoid shipping delays, and keep the schedule moving.

Plus, here’s a psychological benefit for you: decision fatigue is real. Getting major decisions like tile and flooring selections done and finalized is a huge relief that allows you to move on and enjoy the rest of the build. Respond to their questions as fast as you can to keep the action flowing and prevent unnecessary delays.

How to Handle Contentious Situations Positively

Inevitably, mistakes will happen. Whether a sub-contractor messes up or you forgot to submit a selection, you may find yourself in a contentious situation.

When this happens, you must approach the conversation in a positive, non-accusatory way.

• Avoid using “should have” language. Don’t accuse the builder of forgetting or making a mistake.
• Appeal to their duty. Talk to them respectfully about getting the job completed correctly.
• Focus on the solution. You both ultimately want the same thing: a beautifully finished house. Work together to figure out the solution, regardless of who was initially at fault.

Remember, your builder is human, and their subs are human. Going into it with a positive attitude will protect your relationship and make the resolution much better for everyone involved.

Create a Paper Trail: The Power of Email

While conversations are great, they are easily forgotten. One simple tool to keep everything on track is email.

Emails create a traceable trail of what was said, when it was said, and what was agreed to.

Even if you have a phone conversation with your builder and you agree on a change or a fix, send a follow-up email that says: “Just following up on our call, I understand we agreed that [Specific Action] will be taken next week. Please let me know if I misunderstood!” This simple step ensures that all parties have a clear record and avoids miscommunication down the road.

Ultimately, when you build a good, collaborative relationship with your builder, everything goes better. They are more likely to deliver an excellent product, and you’ll be happy to recommend them, which is a great result for everyone.

If you have any questions about the new construction process or are looking to buy or sell in Middle Tennessee, feel free to reach out!